Last minute warning!

A new empress pollarding is about to happen, this one at Hastings Folk Garden just West of Hastings and Main on the North side. I wanted to tell you earlier, those five of you who refuse to join facebook and only get your information from this all-too-rarely used method here on wordpress, I did. Really. But something went wrong with my free service, and I couldn’t compose a new post. Suddenly, this morning, I can. So here’s the poster. The parade ends at Oncle Hoonki’s Fabulous Hornshop where we will be processing the bark and cooking up a few dye baths with my wonderful partner, Sharon. There will be snacks in abundance, hot chocolate and banana loaf. It could work out.

Empress Harvest Parade 2016 smalll


Vote for Martin!

Oncle Hoonki’s contributor, spoon carver and filmaker extraordinaire, Martin Borden is in a contest to win funds to make a film about my wooden orchestra, the LFM. Before you even scroll down to gaze in wonder upon my exploitative propaganda, click this link, and vote for Martin’s film ‘Mr. Fire-Man makes a Horn Orchestra from Wood’. You can vote every day for the next three days. Do a guy a favour, would you?

Martin promo


A very special field trip

Oncle Hoonki’s Fabulous Hornshop had a field trip yesterday. We took horns to the Means of Production Garden for a tea party on the hillside, and played them in the amphitheatre while pretty people ate snacks in dappled shade.

Alexis, Liisa and Pandora upselling the lifestyle.


Over-exploited musicians resting before the big show.
A cluster of Fu-horns awaiting transport down to the amphitheatre.
The Tea Tent ready for service.
Ms. Greenwood catching sunlight.
Musicians to the stage!
Colleen lounges in the amphitheatre whilst minding Hazel, the dog who would upstage us during the first set.
Time to pack up.
Please pick up after your dog.

This Tuesday, June 2, we will meet at Oncle Hoonki’s for 6, grab tools and horns, and parade over to Trillium for a 7pm ‘Sofa Carving Session’. Trillium North Park is on the Southwest end of Stratchcona neighbourhood. Get to Malkin Ave. and go as West as you can. Can’t miss it.

Jasper Smashing Day

Though many other events occurred on Jasper Smashing Day, none of them present as a temptation for the sacrament of day-naming compared to the actual smashing of said jasper which happened in under an hour way back at the beginning of my very long day. Rightfully speaking, Mowing the Grass Day has more legitimacy given that it took more time.

But let’s stay on topic, yes?

A small field o'flakes.
A small field o’flakes.

And now, looking at this photo and remembering the force it took to drive ’em off the core, I understand why my back hurts.

Field Trips to Trillium begin in June!

As of last week, we are outside (at least partially), on the lawn at Maclean Fieldhouse, soaking up the freedom and fresh Strathcona air.  The plan for June is to take it a step further and begin a series of forays to Trillium North Park so as to carve the giant cedar log into an outdoor couch. Let’s call it ‘Oncle Hoonki’s Field Trip Sessions’. We’ll meet at Maclean for 6, gather tools and leave by 6:30, march down to Trillium (5 blocks) and get at it with axes, chisels and adzes. Bring your own box lunch, since Trillium lacks a kitchen.

Please enjoy the photos of recent events and projects particular to Maclean Fieldhouse.

lawn gang May 2015
I recommend spending as much time as possible sitting on the lawn, on a blanket surrounded by arts practitioners, Oregonians and Vancouverites alike.
pan biggy may 2015
A panorama of the new horn. Hijinks would ensue.
trigger arm
Boxwood is satisfyingly tough for trigger carving. This armature fits onto the new ‘Friendly Serpent’. Wait for it.
sneaky honker
I was invited to crash a birthday party in the park. Photo credit – Martin Borden
birthday honker
Community engagement comes in many forms

Did I mention the Garden Party on Sunday May 31st at MOP Garden? You should come. I should put a poster right below this.

May 31 2015 party

Yes, I do talk to stones.

Or in this case, a hunk of busted television screen glass, which makes a fine substitute in a city environ where obsidian is rare and costly. Lately I’ve been calling my game of large spear-point reduction ‘Screw You, Loser’ on account of the extreme likelihood of failure, with the normal outcome seeing my own project mock me for ineptitude. So you can understand my motivation to post a win.

Welcome to Maclean Park Fieldhouse, ‘Oncle Hoonki’s Fabulous Hornshop

Careful reopening of the fieldhouse at MacLean Park features ongoing Lawntime demonstrations (no touching, please!) of hornmaking and flintknapping as well
as regular concert/practice in the park on Monday nights at 7 with the Legion of Flying Monkeys Horn Orchestra.
MacLean Park music series for this summer.
Updates for band postings will be made on the Oncle Hoonki’s Facebook page
Oncle Hoonki’s Lawntime Program continues with ‘BYO Knife, Safe Distance Carving Consultations with Mr. Fire-Man’.
When parents consent to purchase a knife for their child, said child may consult at
the lawn table outside of Oncle Hoonki’s for carving instructions and wood.
Take-away projects include:
-tiny paddle
-spiral carved magic wand.
Students will find Mr. Fire-Man onsite during regular weekday afternoons.
Children (and adults) without knives may not participate in this series.


This project is part of the Vancouver Park Board’s Artist studio residencies in parks and park facilities